So back in the day when I actually got to leave to go pick up my lunch, I used to go to this little make-your-own salad place next door to my office. I developed way too much of a routine, always going down at the same time each day and ordering the exact same thing, so it wasn't surprising that I started recognizing some of the same customers in there every day. One guy was particularly cute so after about 3 weeks of smiling at each other and saying hi in line every day we finally had an actual conversation and exchanged numbers.
We went out to dinner and things were looking awfully promising, he literally was everything I was looking for on paper: V.P. of an investment bank on wall street, went to Pomona and was an all american in track and field, volunteer fire fighter with FDNY, super cute, didn't drink, loved ice cream, and was so chivalrous and refused to let me pay for anything. But then we ran into 2 major problems- 1) We kissed and had ZERO chemistry. I don't know how it's possible that I have more of a spark with the other random weirdos, who are unemployed an uncute, than this guy, but it was literally like kissing an aggressive cousin. And 2) He thought my roommate was hot (haha, my lovely ex-roomie if you're reading this you know exactly who I'm talking about huh?). So our romantic relationship pretty much ended there but we have continued to hang out for the past year on and off for dinners and movies and stuff. For the most part we've been on pretty good dates (are they still considered dates when you know you're not interested in each other?) but one missed the mark:
He texted one Monday morning asking if I had plans that night, and since I pretty much never have plans and am not disciplined enough to pull the "If you wanna see me you have to ask me 3 days in advance" I told him I was free. He said he had awesome tickets to the Yankee game that night and he was bringing one of his clients and his date as well. So I agreed to go and met him after work to head up to the game. We took the subway up there and seeing as it was August and NYC it was about 95 degrees on the train so I was sweaty and slightly grouchy when we got there but he kept talking about how awesome it was gonna be, and how he didn't know who his client was bringing but he was sure it would be fun cuz he told his client he was bringing "a cool younger girl" (he's in his mide 30s) and his client said he was doing the same.
We made it to our seats, which to his credit were pretty sick, and he greets this nice looking guy who was probably in his early 40s. So I say hi too and am waiting to meet his date who I'm hoping will be nice since I know the guys are gonna have to talk business a little bit, when he steps aside and I see a 7th grader. No joke. The guy brought his 7th grade daughter. And he was a super overprotective dad who kept asking me to take his daughter to the bathroom (can't you go by yourself when you're 13?), and gave me money to go buy her a tshirt and all that stuff. So yeah, I basically got brought along on the "date" to be a babysitter. Luckily she was pretty cool for a 13 year old and I'm not very mature for a 25 year old so we talked about Miley Cyrus and Twilight and got along great, but still...
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
This is why we don't go to Marquee anymore
Last winter we were getting tired of our normal Saturday night routine and decided we should shake things up and go to Marquee. The night did not go as planned:
First off it was the DEAD of winter and freezing so we were not about to stand in any lines and since none of us are the super aggressive/confident kind who's gonna walk to the front of the line and demand that the doorman let us in, we figured we should go nice and early to avoid being stuck outside. So 4 of my friends agreed to meet there at 10 (which is way early for a Saturday night in New York). My friend and I shared a cab and got down there to find that yay, there's no line! So we pop out of the car, get our IDs out and walk up to the door. The doorman proceeds to laugh at us and tell us it's not open yet. WTF? Major plan backfireage. So now we can either stand outside and wait for Marquee to open, or go next door to a very questionable looking bar/club/lounge thing. It's freezing so we manned up and decided to check out the place next door. I unfortunately can't remember the exact lines used and conversations had over there but we had way too many interactions with people who look like they would fit in a little too well on Jersey Shore. When we got word that Marquee finally opened up one of the guys we were talking to said something along the lines of "I'll walk over there with you guys and you can buy me a drink". Gross. First off he's a guy by himself, so he's clearly trying to use us cuz we're a group of girls and that's the only way he's gonna get in. And second he has the nerve to tell us we can buy HIM a drink??? I don't think so buddy!!
So eventually we make it into Marquee and manage to lose the Jersey guys and are having a pretty fun night when we see a guy who looks pretty cute. He had the whole scruffy, long hair sticking out of a baseball hat, Vermont hockey player look that I liked in college. At least compared to the guys from next door he was a star. Or so I thought... The night continues and my friend has gotten swept away by a bachelor party and at one point is dancing with a guy on a bench and he has her literally off the floor completely picked up. My other friends are hanging out dancing with other people and I end up dancing with the scruffy vermontish guy. After awhile my friends are ready to go but I have the brilliant idea that I should stay by myself with the guy. WORST IDEA EVER.
The night quickly went downhill when I realized that he wasn't from Vermont at all, nor did he play hockey, the scruffy look was more just a product of his lack of showering and hygiene in general. After about 5 minutes of actually talking to him I'm ready to go so I grab my coat and am on my way out when he starts flipping out and making a gigantic scene about someone stealing his wallet. The bouncer says this happens a lot, and that they caught the guy already and everyone's wallets are at the police precinct a few blocks away. Clearly Marquee is a wonderful establishment.
Somehow the guy convinces me to walk with him to the precinct which as it turns out is not "just a few blocks away" but rather a 30 minute walk almost to the other side of Manhattan. I'm in heels and dress and freezing my butt off, and tired, and ready to go home. And the unshowered man is being moody and grumpy and generally not someone I would choose to take a 2am stroll through meatpacking district with. All I want to do is go home and sleep but he promises he'll pay for my cab if I go with him to get the wallet. So we keep walking and eventually make it to the precinct and get his wallet but turns out the guy stole all his cash so now he can't even pay for my cab. At this point I just want to get the heck out of there and my attitude clearly has to be telling this guy I'm not interested in hanging out anymore but when I hail a cab he tries to get in with me!! EW. I tell him I'm going home alone and he starts yelling at me about how he has no place to sleep and how I led him on all night and what is he supposed to do now. I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he just couldn't get a train home but I think there's a slight possibility he was actually homeless, hence the lack of showering, and general lack of manners and chivalry. At any rate, I wasn't gonna stick around to find out so I more or less dove into the cab and told the driver to start going and I'd give him the address in a minute.
Noooot a fun night. No chance I'm going to Marquee anytime in the next 5 years, and if I do, I'm sticking with the clean cut, clearly not homeless types.
First off it was the DEAD of winter and freezing so we were not about to stand in any lines and since none of us are the super aggressive/confident kind who's gonna walk to the front of the line and demand that the doorman let us in, we figured we should go nice and early to avoid being stuck outside. So 4 of my friends agreed to meet there at 10 (which is way early for a Saturday night in New York). My friend and I shared a cab and got down there to find that yay, there's no line! So we pop out of the car, get our IDs out and walk up to the door. The doorman proceeds to laugh at us and tell us it's not open yet. WTF? Major plan backfireage. So now we can either stand outside and wait for Marquee to open, or go next door to a very questionable looking bar/club/lounge thing. It's freezing so we manned up and decided to check out the place next door. I unfortunately can't remember the exact lines used and conversations had over there but we had way too many interactions with people who look like they would fit in a little too well on Jersey Shore. When we got word that Marquee finally opened up one of the guys we were talking to said something along the lines of "I'll walk over there with you guys and you can buy me a drink". Gross. First off he's a guy by himself, so he's clearly trying to use us cuz we're a group of girls and that's the only way he's gonna get in. And second he has the nerve to tell us we can buy HIM a drink??? I don't think so buddy!!
So eventually we make it into Marquee and manage to lose the Jersey guys and are having a pretty fun night when we see a guy who looks pretty cute. He had the whole scruffy, long hair sticking out of a baseball hat, Vermont hockey player look that I liked in college. At least compared to the guys from next door he was a star. Or so I thought... The night continues and my friend has gotten swept away by a bachelor party and at one point is dancing with a guy on a bench and he has her literally off the floor completely picked up. My other friends are hanging out dancing with other people and I end up dancing with the scruffy vermontish guy. After awhile my friends are ready to go but I have the brilliant idea that I should stay by myself with the guy. WORST IDEA EVER.
The night quickly went downhill when I realized that he wasn't from Vermont at all, nor did he play hockey, the scruffy look was more just a product of his lack of showering and hygiene in general. After about 5 minutes of actually talking to him I'm ready to go so I grab my coat and am on my way out when he starts flipping out and making a gigantic scene about someone stealing his wallet. The bouncer says this happens a lot, and that they caught the guy already and everyone's wallets are at the police precinct a few blocks away. Clearly Marquee is a wonderful establishment.
Somehow the guy convinces me to walk with him to the precinct which as it turns out is not "just a few blocks away" but rather a 30 minute walk almost to the other side of Manhattan. I'm in heels and dress and freezing my butt off, and tired, and ready to go home. And the unshowered man is being moody and grumpy and generally not someone I would choose to take a 2am stroll through meatpacking district with. All I want to do is go home and sleep but he promises he'll pay for my cab if I go with him to get the wallet. So we keep walking and eventually make it to the precinct and get his wallet but turns out the guy stole all his cash so now he can't even pay for my cab. At this point I just want to get the heck out of there and my attitude clearly has to be telling this guy I'm not interested in hanging out anymore but when I hail a cab he tries to get in with me!! EW. I tell him I'm going home alone and he starts yelling at me about how he has no place to sleep and how I led him on all night and what is he supposed to do now. I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he just couldn't get a train home but I think there's a slight possibility he was actually homeless, hence the lack of showering, and general lack of manners and chivalry. At any rate, I wasn't gonna stick around to find out so I more or less dove into the cab and told the driver to start going and I'd give him the address in a minute.
Noooot a fun night. No chance I'm going to Marquee anytime in the next 5 years, and if I do, I'm sticking with the clean cut, clearly not homeless types.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Planes, Trains and Automobiles- Part 1 and 2
Part 1- Bus Boy
Nothing super eventful here but this gives a little lead up for part 2. So I started dating a guy in DC in the summer of 07 and on my very first trip down to visit him I ended up sitting next to a really cute guy on the bus. I was pretty head over heels about the DC guy so Bus Boy and I exchanged numbers and kept in touch via text and the occasional drink in NYC but nothing more than that for a year and half. Once DC guy and I broke up I agreed to go out with Bus Boy but told him really bluntly that I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, just wanted to date different people in New York and stay single. He said he was okay with this but he turned out to be kinda girly for a 6'2", 200lbs, ex frat guy, and continued to ask how I felt about him all the time and needed a lot affirmation that I liked him which got sort of annoying. I kept insisting we weren't officially dating but I'm not sure that message got passed along on his end, at least I don't think that's the story he told his friends. We started hanging out more and I met some of his friends and coworkers and got to know one guy fairly well, we're just gonna call him Stan for now.
Part 2- The Good Kind of Accent
I was flying home for Christmas right after DC guy and I had officially broken up and had gotten to the airport waaaaay too early for my flight. This guy came and sat down next to me and we started talking and I immediately liked him cuz he had an adorable Australian accent. I also thought he was pretty cute at the time so we agreed to try to meet up once we were both back in the city after the holidays. So date #1 was pretty good cuz we went to the rooftop of the Gansevoort which is one of my favorite places in the city but I did notice 2 things that were really superficial but worth noting. 1) He was kinda short too, from now on I'm only agreeing to go out with guys who are unquestionably over 5'6". 2) I know this will sound weird, but he had a really really cute profile but was downright strange looking from the front. I don't know how to describe this but it was an interesting phenomenon, and since I'd been sitting next to him the whole time at the airport I'd never really seen the head on view.
Okay, so my shallowness aside...we had a good time on our date, and unlike Bus Boy he was totally chill and not looking for his future wife so I figured I had a good new friend to go out with in the city, and I liked his taste in date spots since he took me to Gansevoort.
The awkwardness arose when parts 1 and 2 collided...
By February I'd been on a few dates with the Aussie, and was quasi dating Bus Boy despite my best efforts to keep it casual, and one Friday I was supposed to meet the Aussie for dinner. So we met at this place called Cafeteria in Union Square but it was super crowded so we were wandering around trying to find a table. Problem number 1, he was short so I had a hard time keeping track of him in the crowd, he also was a speedy little guy so I lost him after approximately 5 seconds at the restaurant. So I'm more or less spinning around in circles when someone grabs my arm and I turn thinking it's the aussie, but no, it's Stan. I'm by myself at this point so he's like "Hey! How've you been I haven't seen you and [Bus Boy's real name] in awhile. When are we all going out again?" Of course at this exact moment the Aussie comes back and is like "Oh man, sorry I lost you! Wanna just go eat at the bar or keep waiting for a table". Now I realize this doesn't sound all that bad but at the time it felt like the most awkward situation ever since I look like a complete sketchball. I don't think Stan realized Bus Boy and I weren't exclusive so I look like I'm being super shady by going out with another guy. And the Aussie had never really asked if I was going out with anybody else I just sort of assumed that since he didn't ask, we were both free to see other people. I think at that point I tried to introduce them to each other both as my "friends" but I'm sure my awkwardness got the better of me and it wasn't a smooth interaction whatsoever.
Needless to say, things didn't really work out with either guy. I think the Aussie stopped calling me after that date, and as for Bus Boy we kept trying to go out but we could never agree to be on the same page relationship/non relationship wise so that eventually ended a few months later.
I thought after that I was done meeting guys on public transportation but as part 3 showed, apparently I wasn't quite finished yet...
Nothing super eventful here but this gives a little lead up for part 2. So I started dating a guy in DC in the summer of 07 and on my very first trip down to visit him I ended up sitting next to a really cute guy on the bus. I was pretty head over heels about the DC guy so Bus Boy and I exchanged numbers and kept in touch via text and the occasional drink in NYC but nothing more than that for a year and half. Once DC guy and I broke up I agreed to go out with Bus Boy but told him really bluntly that I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, just wanted to date different people in New York and stay single. He said he was okay with this but he turned out to be kinda girly for a 6'2", 200lbs, ex frat guy, and continued to ask how I felt about him all the time and needed a lot affirmation that I liked him which got sort of annoying. I kept insisting we weren't officially dating but I'm not sure that message got passed along on his end, at least I don't think that's the story he told his friends. We started hanging out more and I met some of his friends and coworkers and got to know one guy fairly well, we're just gonna call him Stan for now.
Part 2- The Good Kind of Accent
I was flying home for Christmas right after DC guy and I had officially broken up and had gotten to the airport waaaaay too early for my flight. This guy came and sat down next to me and we started talking and I immediately liked him cuz he had an adorable Australian accent. I also thought he was pretty cute at the time so we agreed to try to meet up once we were both back in the city after the holidays. So date #1 was pretty good cuz we went to the rooftop of the Gansevoort which is one of my favorite places in the city but I did notice 2 things that were really superficial but worth noting. 1) He was kinda short too, from now on I'm only agreeing to go out with guys who are unquestionably over 5'6". 2) I know this will sound weird, but he had a really really cute profile but was downright strange looking from the front. I don't know how to describe this but it was an interesting phenomenon, and since I'd been sitting next to him the whole time at the airport I'd never really seen the head on view.
Okay, so my shallowness aside...we had a good time on our date, and unlike Bus Boy he was totally chill and not looking for his future wife so I figured I had a good new friend to go out with in the city, and I liked his taste in date spots since he took me to Gansevoort.
The awkwardness arose when parts 1 and 2 collided...
By February I'd been on a few dates with the Aussie, and was quasi dating Bus Boy despite my best efforts to keep it casual, and one Friday I was supposed to meet the Aussie for dinner. So we met at this place called Cafeteria in Union Square but it was super crowded so we were wandering around trying to find a table. Problem number 1, he was short so I had a hard time keeping track of him in the crowd, he also was a speedy little guy so I lost him after approximately 5 seconds at the restaurant. So I'm more or less spinning around in circles when someone grabs my arm and I turn thinking it's the aussie, but no, it's Stan. I'm by myself at this point so he's like "Hey! How've you been I haven't seen you and [Bus Boy's real name] in awhile. When are we all going out again?" Of course at this exact moment the Aussie comes back and is like "Oh man, sorry I lost you! Wanna just go eat at the bar or keep waiting for a table". Now I realize this doesn't sound all that bad but at the time it felt like the most awkward situation ever since I look like a complete sketchball. I don't think Stan realized Bus Boy and I weren't exclusive so I look like I'm being super shady by going out with another guy. And the Aussie had never really asked if I was going out with anybody else I just sort of assumed that since he didn't ask, we were both free to see other people. I think at that point I tried to introduce them to each other both as my "friends" but I'm sure my awkwardness got the better of me and it wasn't a smooth interaction whatsoever.
Needless to say, things didn't really work out with either guy. I think the Aussie stopped calling me after that date, and as for Bus Boy we kept trying to go out but we could never agree to be on the same page relationship/non relationship wise so that eventually ended a few months later.
I thought after that I was done meeting guys on public transportation but as part 3 showed, apparently I wasn't quite finished yet...
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