Bowdoin Alumni Network Is Not Equivalent to EHarmony

I have always been under the impression that Bowdoin acts as kind of a weeding out tool in the dating department. Most guys there seem to be relatively smart, motivated, athletic, come from good families, and exude the kind of small college charm that I'm drawn too. With so many great men at Bowdoin, and 2 of my best friends from Bowdoin married or engaged to their Bowdoin sweethearts, I naturally assumed that going on a date with another Bowdoin alum would have to be better than my usual random new york dates...

I met this guy at a Bowdoin alumni hockey game viewing event at a bar near my apartment, and we exchanged numbers and decided to go out later that week. We had a great talk on the phone the next night and I thought things were off to a good start since he was a former Bowdoin hockey player, graduated 4 years ahead of me, and worked in finance in the city. All good things so far. So we agreed to meet up the next night for a drink and things rapidly started going downhill.

First off, when he called to figure out plans, he said "why don't we both just go to 2nd ave, you walk south, I'll walk north, and we'll let fate tell us where to go when we meet up". I immediately hate this plan for many reasons:
1) It's sprinkling. Not enough to use an umbrella without feeling like a loser, but definitely enough to make my afro come out.
2) I'm in heels and we live 30 blocks apart, so walking 15 blocks in heels in the rain is not my idea of fun on a Tuesday night.
3) Freaking, be decisive man!!! Just pick a place and let's go!
4) Any guy who talks about "fate" on the first date kinda freaks me out.
But I don't like being all high maintenance at the start so I'm like "fine, whatever" and begin the walk of fate. We meet, have a drink, and then he says he has to go meet his friend for a business meeting cuz they're trying to take over a men's grooming salon in New York. It's then that I learn he regularly gets manicures, and professional shaves. I'm sorry, are you kidding me?? What Bowdoin hockey player gets manicures? Ew. I'm unimpressed but I go with him to his business meeting where I meet his friend who is super sketchy which has the opposite effect that it should because it makes me think that in comparison, this guy isn't so bad. Clearly I agree to a second date...

Date #2: We're gonna rent Lost because I'm obsessed with it and want to see it again from the beginning, and grab some food. So he comes over to my place and we decided to try out the Indian restaurant right next door. First problem, they sat us in the corner, and granted it was a little small/cozy, but I wouldn't have complained about it. He did not agree. He made them move us and then loudly complained about how close the woman next to us was sitting at the old table. This restaurant has maybe 9 tables so she could obviously hear him talking about her so that was nice and embarrassing. Then he asked the waiter what his name was, only to address him by yelling "Hey! Guy!" the rest of the night. When it came time to order he asked the waiter about no less than 10 different dishes on the menu, asking him to rate them on how good they were and tell him he didn't want either of us eating anything with garlic, before finally saying "I don't care, you pick something" to the waiter. I'm so embarrassed by him that I eat as fast as possible and when the check comes, I don't even offer to pay for it for I think the first time in my entire life. He stares at me for awhile and then says "it's okay, you can get the next one". How did this creep get into Bowdoin??? I'm sorry but don't you have to have some chivalry/manners to make it through 4 years at a decent college? The final kicker to the night was as we were leaving there was a bowl of some kind of seeds or grains or something by the door that were supposed to be like breath mints. There's a tiny spoon in the bowl indicating that you can take a little spoonful. He loads up his entire hand with this stuff (we're talking like 10 spoonfuls) and then tells me to stick my hand out too, like I'm a 5 year old. Thank God there's another Indian place across the street because obviously I can't ever show my face in here again.

Epilogue: I didn't want to watch Lost with him anymore so I let him take the movies home since he hadn't seen Lost. At this point I figured I'd avoid him for the rest of my life, but a week later I got a call from my mom saying blockbuster called and I'm gonna owe $50 for the movies if I don't return them in the next 3 days (yes I still have a family blockbuster account, and yes blockbuster has gone back to late fees and making you buy the movie after one week, A-holes). So I had to email this guy and tell him to return my freaking movies and then he's like "oh, where have you been? When are we going out again?". I made up a boyfriend and hoped that wouldn't deter him from returning the movies, but I think so far so good cuz I haven't heard anything else from blockbuster. So much for Bowdoin being the key to my romantic happiness though!