Pulling out a story from my dating vault, as I was reminded of this ridiculous one last night. I had a dinner with 2 of my old coworkers/best friends and we got to reminiscing about the trouble we got in last summer during fleet week. For those of you who aren't familiar with fleet week, it's the week every year when New York is invaded by eager young navy men/marines/sailors, and it is quite a fantastic event.
So last year fleet week overlapped with my first date with the doorman (there's a blog about that disasterous decision somewhere back in the archives), so during the first night of fleet week my girlfriends had all met up while I was with doorman, so by the time I finished my date and met up with them they were already surrounded by fine gentleman and had dibsed who got who. They both have very entertaining stories about their picks, but those aren't my stories to tell so I will just stick with my marine.
So we were all hanging out at this weird bar, and they were already wrapped up with their men so when I got there I was kinda on my own. I vaguely remember hanging out with this kid we work with, and then I think I met his friend who I ended up playing connect four with (I told you it was a weird bar) for at least an hour. Point being, I had zero interaction with any of the sailors during the night but my friend and I were gonna share a cab home so when we got in the cab and 2 marine boys joined us I assumed she was just being crazy and taking them both home. I noticed that one of the guys was a fairly good looking black guy and since the big running joke at my office is that I'm into any and all black men apparently my friend thought she would do me a favor...
When we got to my street I hopped out of the cab and said goodbye to the 3 of them. I told my friend I was gonna grab a slice of pizza and head home, and I'd see her Monday. I'm not sure where that message got lost in translation, but next thing I knew, I get a phone call from my friend saying "Hey, I dropped off the black one for you, look for him in front of Fat Sal's. You're welcome". I'm all for being set up and meeting new people, but not shady marines at 3am when all I want to do is enjoy my slice of cheese and go to sleep. But I found my man/gift and attempted to wear him down while I ate my pizza hoping he would say he had to get back to the ship to make curfew or something like that. After dragging out my onesided conversation for an hour I finally gave up, and since he said he had no where to sleep I took the homeless marine back to my apartment telling him in no uncertain terms that he was welcome to SLEEP at my place and that was it. Apparently I wasn't communicating well that night cuz he was so annoyingly forward that I finally had to pull the possum and pretend I was asleep. This guy didn't even own a cell phone so I figured I was off the hook when I gave him my number and he wrote it down on a piece of paper but for the rest of fleet week I kept getting calls from random numbers as he borrowed his friends phones to call me. Although he was in uniform, defending our country, and a good looking black man, those 3 things weren't enough to make up for his general annoyingness. So while I appreciate the effort of being hand delivered a companion for the night, I think I will stick to finding my own snuggle buddies from now on!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Facebook Relationship Status
So turns out that being in a relationship lends itself to blog topics also. We're kind of out of the "50 bad dates" theme but still relevent to love life difficulties so I'm gonna go with it.
Alright, so I'm dating this guy who I really like, and things have been going great for a solid month which is longer than anything I've had in the past 2 years almost. He's been awesome and laid back about me meeting up with friends from high school/college for drinks, having girls nights, being out of town, etc. so I know he's not super jealous or clingy, and that's one of the things I like the most about him. I noticed a couple days ago that he removed the "Single" from his relationship status on facebook which I thought was cool cuz I personally don't like having any kind of relationship status up there. But then last night he started joking around about waiting for his relationship request from me. And I'm like "well you can just keep waiting cuz it's never gonna happen". We kinda joked about it a little more last night but then he dropped it so I figured I was off the hook. No such luck, I came into work this morning and my phone started lighting up alerting me I had a new email, which of course was a relationship request from the boy. So now I have no idea what to do, and I've been staring at this request for about 3 hours just trying to ignore it. Let me lay out both our arguments and then PLEASE someone give me some advice here!
His side:
1) He said it wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that I'm so unwilling to say we're in a relationship, and that kind of bothers him.
2) We don't have any pics of us together on FB, and we aren't saying we're in a relationship, so his friends are giving him crap about where we stand (I think that was the gist of what he was saying).
My side:
1) I have NEVER had any kind of relationship status, single or otherwise, because I just think it's dorky and until I'm engaged I don't want to deal with the "oh you're in a relationship!" or "oh no, what happened? you're single again" comments from people I don't really keep in touch with.
2) I have told every boyfriend I've had since the birth of facebook that I refuse to put a status up there. I have actually hit the "reject relationship" button before to a guy I'd been with for 4 months. I'm sure most don't care, but I'd feel bad for a couple that all of a sudden now I'm willing to do it.
3) I'm pretty crazy about this guy, and in no way trying to hide the fact that we're dating but we went from nothing to serious in a month and before him I'd been dating a few people and adamently telling them I just wanted to date and was firmly against having an actual boyfriend. So now I feel bad and hypocritical to all of a sudden be in a relationship. I don't really wanna rub it in their faces via facebook, when we're still friends but haven't talked about the fact that I'm really seeing someone now.
4) I'm kind of afraid of the guys at work cuz everytime I'm in a relationship they either make fun of me or the guy so much that I end up not wanting to be in the relationship anymore and I really don't want them to ruin this one!
Okay friends, so help me out here. I really like this guy so should I just suck it up and say we're in a relationship? Or should I press ths issue and try to convince him the less is more approach on facebook is better? Help!
Alright, so I'm dating this guy who I really like, and things have been going great for a solid month which is longer than anything I've had in the past 2 years almost. He's been awesome and laid back about me meeting up with friends from high school/college for drinks, having girls nights, being out of town, etc. so I know he's not super jealous or clingy, and that's one of the things I like the most about him. I noticed a couple days ago that he removed the "Single" from his relationship status on facebook which I thought was cool cuz I personally don't like having any kind of relationship status up there. But then last night he started joking around about waiting for his relationship request from me. And I'm like "well you can just keep waiting cuz it's never gonna happen". We kinda joked about it a little more last night but then he dropped it so I figured I was off the hook. No such luck, I came into work this morning and my phone started lighting up alerting me I had a new email, which of course was a relationship request from the boy. So now I have no idea what to do, and I've been staring at this request for about 3 hours just trying to ignore it. Let me lay out both our arguments and then PLEASE someone give me some advice here!
His side:
1) He said it wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that I'm so unwilling to say we're in a relationship, and that kind of bothers him.
2) We don't have any pics of us together on FB, and we aren't saying we're in a relationship, so his friends are giving him crap about where we stand (I think that was the gist of what he was saying).
My side:
1) I have NEVER had any kind of relationship status, single or otherwise, because I just think it's dorky and until I'm engaged I don't want to deal with the "oh you're in a relationship!" or "oh no, what happened? you're single again" comments from people I don't really keep in touch with.
2) I have told every boyfriend I've had since the birth of facebook that I refuse to put a status up there. I have actually hit the "reject relationship" button before to a guy I'd been with for 4 months. I'm sure most don't care, but I'd feel bad for a couple that all of a sudden now I'm willing to do it.
3) I'm pretty crazy about this guy, and in no way trying to hide the fact that we're dating but we went from nothing to serious in a month and before him I'd been dating a few people and adamently telling them I just wanted to date and was firmly against having an actual boyfriend. So now I feel bad and hypocritical to all of a sudden be in a relationship. I don't really wanna rub it in their faces via facebook, when we're still friends but haven't talked about the fact that I'm really seeing someone now.
4) I'm kind of afraid of the guys at work cuz everytime I'm in a relationship they either make fun of me or the guy so much that I end up not wanting to be in the relationship anymore and I really don't want them to ruin this one!
Okay friends, so help me out here. I really like this guy so should I just suck it up and say we're in a relationship? Or should I press ths issue and try to convince him the less is more approach on facebook is better? Help!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
New Year, New Me
So, it's my birthday today, and as the newly mature 26 year old that I am, I am possibly saying goodbye to my blog. I recently started dating a guy on my bowling team (save the loser jokes, I love bowling), and he's actually pretty awesome and normal. So it looks like the string of bad dates is over at least for a little bit, and I have a feeling no one is interested in reading a blog about nights on the couch watching Dancing with the Stars and Lost. So hopefully I won't mess this one up and you won't be hearing from me for awhile, but if it doesn't work out, there will be more blog material in the future! Thanks for following me. =)
Bowdoin Alumni Network Is Not Equivalent to EHarmony
I have always been under the impression that Bowdoin acts as kind of a weeding out tool in the dating department. Most guys there seem to be relatively smart, motivated, athletic, come from good families, and exude the kind of small college charm that I'm drawn too. With so many great men at Bowdoin, and 2 of my best friends from Bowdoin married or engaged to their Bowdoin sweethearts, I naturally assumed that going on a date with another Bowdoin alum would have to be better than my usual random new york dates...
I met this guy at a Bowdoin alumni hockey game viewing event at a bar near my apartment, and we exchanged numbers and decided to go out later that week. We had a great talk on the phone the next night and I thought things were off to a good start since he was a former Bowdoin hockey player, graduated 4 years ahead of me, and worked in finance in the city. All good things so far. So we agreed to meet up the next night for a drink and things rapidly started going downhill.
First off, when he called to figure out plans, he said "why don't we both just go to 2nd ave, you walk south, I'll walk north, and we'll let fate tell us where to go when we meet up". I immediately hate this plan for many reasons:
1) It's sprinkling. Not enough to use an umbrella without feeling like a loser, but definitely enough to make my afro come out.
2) I'm in heels and we live 30 blocks apart, so walking 15 blocks in heels in the rain is not my idea of fun on a Tuesday night.
3) Freaking, be decisive man!!! Just pick a place and let's go!
4) Any guy who talks about "fate" on the first date kinda freaks me out.
But I don't like being all high maintenance at the start so I'm like "fine, whatever" and begin the walk of fate. We meet, have a drink, and then he says he has to go meet his friend for a business meeting cuz they're trying to take over a men's grooming salon in New York. It's then that I learn he regularly gets manicures, and professional shaves. I'm sorry, are you kidding me?? What Bowdoin hockey player gets manicures? Ew. I'm unimpressed but I go with him to his business meeting where I meet his friend who is super sketchy which has the opposite effect that it should because it makes me think that in comparison, this guy isn't so bad. Clearly I agree to a second date...
Date #2: We're gonna rent Lost because I'm obsessed with it and want to see it again from the beginning, and grab some food. So he comes over to my place and we decided to try out the Indian restaurant right next door. First problem, they sat us in the corner, and granted it was a little small/cozy, but I wouldn't have complained about it. He did not agree. He made them move us and then loudly complained about how close the woman next to us was sitting at the old table. This restaurant has maybe 9 tables so she could obviously hear him talking about her so that was nice and embarrassing. Then he asked the waiter what his name was, only to address him by yelling "Hey! Guy!" the rest of the night. When it came time to order he asked the waiter about no less than 10 different dishes on the menu, asking him to rate them on how good they were and tell him he didn't want either of us eating anything with garlic, before finally saying "I don't care, you pick something" to the waiter. I'm so embarrassed by him that I eat as fast as possible and when the check comes, I don't even offer to pay for it for I think the first time in my entire life. He stares at me for awhile and then says "it's okay, you can get the next one". How did this creep get into Bowdoin??? I'm sorry but don't you have to have some chivalry/manners to make it through 4 years at a decent college? The final kicker to the night was as we were leaving there was a bowl of some kind of seeds or grains or something by the door that were supposed to be like breath mints. There's a tiny spoon in the bowl indicating that you can take a little spoonful. He loads up his entire hand with this stuff (we're talking like 10 spoonfuls) and then tells me to stick my hand out too, like I'm a 5 year old. Thank God there's another Indian place across the street because obviously I can't ever show my face in here again.
Epilogue: I didn't want to watch Lost with him anymore so I let him take the movies home since he hadn't seen Lost. At this point I figured I'd avoid him for the rest of my life, but a week later I got a call from my mom saying blockbuster called and I'm gonna owe $50 for the movies if I don't return them in the next 3 days (yes I still have a family blockbuster account, and yes blockbuster has gone back to late fees and making you buy the movie after one week, A-holes). So I had to email this guy and tell him to return my freaking movies and then he's like "oh, where have you been? When are we going out again?". I made up a boyfriend and hoped that wouldn't deter him from returning the movies, but I think so far so good cuz I haven't heard anything else from blockbuster. So much for Bowdoin being the key to my romantic happiness though!
I met this guy at a Bowdoin alumni hockey game viewing event at a bar near my apartment, and we exchanged numbers and decided to go out later that week. We had a great talk on the phone the next night and I thought things were off to a good start since he was a former Bowdoin hockey player, graduated 4 years ahead of me, and worked in finance in the city. All good things so far. So we agreed to meet up the next night for a drink and things rapidly started going downhill.
First off, when he called to figure out plans, he said "why don't we both just go to 2nd ave, you walk south, I'll walk north, and we'll let fate tell us where to go when we meet up". I immediately hate this plan for many reasons:
1) It's sprinkling. Not enough to use an umbrella without feeling like a loser, but definitely enough to make my afro come out.
2) I'm in heels and we live 30 blocks apart, so walking 15 blocks in heels in the rain is not my idea of fun on a Tuesday night.
3) Freaking, be decisive man!!! Just pick a place and let's go!
4) Any guy who talks about "fate" on the first date kinda freaks me out.
But I don't like being all high maintenance at the start so I'm like "fine, whatever" and begin the walk of fate. We meet, have a drink, and then he says he has to go meet his friend for a business meeting cuz they're trying to take over a men's grooming salon in New York. It's then that I learn he regularly gets manicures, and professional shaves. I'm sorry, are you kidding me?? What Bowdoin hockey player gets manicures? Ew. I'm unimpressed but I go with him to his business meeting where I meet his friend who is super sketchy which has the opposite effect that it should because it makes me think that in comparison, this guy isn't so bad. Clearly I agree to a second date...
Date #2: We're gonna rent Lost because I'm obsessed with it and want to see it again from the beginning, and grab some food. So he comes over to my place and we decided to try out the Indian restaurant right next door. First problem, they sat us in the corner, and granted it was a little small/cozy, but I wouldn't have complained about it. He did not agree. He made them move us and then loudly complained about how close the woman next to us was sitting at the old table. This restaurant has maybe 9 tables so she could obviously hear him talking about her so that was nice and embarrassing. Then he asked the waiter what his name was, only to address him by yelling "Hey! Guy!" the rest of the night. When it came time to order he asked the waiter about no less than 10 different dishes on the menu, asking him to rate them on how good they were and tell him he didn't want either of us eating anything with garlic, before finally saying "I don't care, you pick something" to the waiter. I'm so embarrassed by him that I eat as fast as possible and when the check comes, I don't even offer to pay for it for I think the first time in my entire life. He stares at me for awhile and then says "it's okay, you can get the next one". How did this creep get into Bowdoin??? I'm sorry but don't you have to have some chivalry/manners to make it through 4 years at a decent college? The final kicker to the night was as we were leaving there was a bowl of some kind of seeds or grains or something by the door that were supposed to be like breath mints. There's a tiny spoon in the bowl indicating that you can take a little spoonful. He loads up his entire hand with this stuff (we're talking like 10 spoonfuls) and then tells me to stick my hand out too, like I'm a 5 year old. Thank God there's another Indian place across the street because obviously I can't ever show my face in here again.
Epilogue: I didn't want to watch Lost with him anymore so I let him take the movies home since he hadn't seen Lost. At this point I figured I'd avoid him for the rest of my life, but a week later I got a call from my mom saying blockbuster called and I'm gonna owe $50 for the movies if I don't return them in the next 3 days (yes I still have a family blockbuster account, and yes blockbuster has gone back to late fees and making you buy the movie after one week, A-holes). So I had to email this guy and tell him to return my freaking movies and then he's like "oh, where have you been? When are we going out again?". I made up a boyfriend and hoped that wouldn't deter him from returning the movies, but I think so far so good cuz I haven't heard anything else from blockbuster. So much for Bowdoin being the key to my romantic happiness though!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Worst Valentine's EVER!
Before you go any further, you are not allowed to read this without first promising this will not get back to my mom! It's not that bad, but considering my mom was appalled that I talk to random guys at bars I'm pretty sure this one would push her over the edge.
Okay, so Wednesday before Valentine's Day I was supposed to go out with this guy who I'd met in November but mistakenly thought he lived in Miami so we'd never made an effort to see each other the past few months. We were supposed to go out but then NYC got pounded by the snowstorm so we opted for a movie night in instead. I was shocked at how nice he was and how well we got along, and the fact that he didn't try anything with me. He was refreshingly respectful and funny and cute and I basically ended up with a massive crush after hanging out with him for 5 hours. He knew I had a date the next night which he was kinda weirded out by but we made plans to hang out Saturday and he didn't ask any more questions.
Thursday was uneventful, not great not horrible, and Saturday was awesome. It was a very atypical night for me cuz he's a club promoter so it was a lot of running around the city meeting new people and checking out clubs but it was surprisingly fun and after that night and hanging out all day the next day, I was pretty hooked and didn't even want to go out on the Valentine date anymore. He was really understanding about me having plans set up from a long time ago but he said he wasn't gonna wait around forever while I dated other people so I pretty much decided to stop seeing everyone but him asap. It was too late to straight up cancel so instead I called the guy (the ex cop from Queens) and told him I didn't want to be leading him on, and I didn't see this going anywhere but if he still wanted to go to dinner as friends I was okay with it. Apparently we have VERY different definitions of "friends" because the night did not go as I had planned.
He said he still wanted to go out so we had a good dinner at this italian place near my old apartment and then decided to grab a drink near my new apartment. At this point I really just wanted to hurry it up so I could go hang out with the guy I actually liked (I know, shady move on my part, but you'll understand why soon). Drinks/conversation with the Queens cop were fine but I eventually got the point across that I was ready to go home. So we left the bar and I gave him a hug and told him thanks a lot for dinner and started walking towards my apartment. He stopped me and said he had to get something for me out of his car. So immediately I start panicking cuz A) I already feel bad that he bought me dinner when I really have no intention of seeing him again and B) He's starting to give me sketchy vibes and I have a feeling I know where this is going.
So he gets this really nice, big, vase of roses out of his car, and I definitely feel bad but I'm not about to go down without a fight so I'm like "aawww, thanks you shouldn't have, okay, have a good night". And he's like "oh, I can take them up to your apartment for you". And I'm like "No worries, I can get them, I'm strong" and I flex like a weirdo to prove my point. I guess he thinks I'm being funny cuz he laughs and starts walking towards my building. So at this point I'm thinking I'll just let him up, give him the 5 second tour and tell him I have to go to sleep. So we get to my apartment, and I go into my itty bitty kitchen to put fresh water in the vase and when I turn around he's standing in my doorway with his pants unbottoned and his manpiece hanging out!!! I think I just stared at him for like 30 seconds and then he says (and I'm not making this stuff up) "Don't you wanna touch it?" UMMMMM ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I haven't even kissed you yet, of course I don't want to touch it!! EW. So I'm like "Uh no, I really need to go to sleep I have to get up early tomorrow". Unfortunately he's not as dumb as I thought and he calls me out on the fact that the next day is Monday and the markets are closed so I don't have work. Luckily it's fasion week in NYC so I say I'm going to some fashion shows and have to be up and at em at 8 which he buys and thankfully leaves. Sadly at this point I'm no longer in the mood for any kind of male company so I go to bed without meeting up with the boy I actually like. And thus, worst Valentine's Day ever. UGH.
Okay, so Wednesday before Valentine's Day I was supposed to go out with this guy who I'd met in November but mistakenly thought he lived in Miami so we'd never made an effort to see each other the past few months. We were supposed to go out but then NYC got pounded by the snowstorm so we opted for a movie night in instead. I was shocked at how nice he was and how well we got along, and the fact that he didn't try anything with me. He was refreshingly respectful and funny and cute and I basically ended up with a massive crush after hanging out with him for 5 hours. He knew I had a date the next night which he was kinda weirded out by but we made plans to hang out Saturday and he didn't ask any more questions.
Thursday was uneventful, not great not horrible, and Saturday was awesome. It was a very atypical night for me cuz he's a club promoter so it was a lot of running around the city meeting new people and checking out clubs but it was surprisingly fun and after that night and hanging out all day the next day, I was pretty hooked and didn't even want to go out on the Valentine date anymore. He was really understanding about me having plans set up from a long time ago but he said he wasn't gonna wait around forever while I dated other people so I pretty much decided to stop seeing everyone but him asap. It was too late to straight up cancel so instead I called the guy (the ex cop from Queens) and told him I didn't want to be leading him on, and I didn't see this going anywhere but if he still wanted to go to dinner as friends I was okay with it. Apparently we have VERY different definitions of "friends" because the night did not go as I had planned.
He said he still wanted to go out so we had a good dinner at this italian place near my old apartment and then decided to grab a drink near my new apartment. At this point I really just wanted to hurry it up so I could go hang out with the guy I actually liked (I know, shady move on my part, but you'll understand why soon). Drinks/conversation with the Queens cop were fine but I eventually got the point across that I was ready to go home. So we left the bar and I gave him a hug and told him thanks a lot for dinner and started walking towards my apartment. He stopped me and said he had to get something for me out of his car. So immediately I start panicking cuz A) I already feel bad that he bought me dinner when I really have no intention of seeing him again and B) He's starting to give me sketchy vibes and I have a feeling I know where this is going.
So he gets this really nice, big, vase of roses out of his car, and I definitely feel bad but I'm not about to go down without a fight so I'm like "aawww, thanks you shouldn't have, okay, have a good night". And he's like "oh, I can take them up to your apartment for you". And I'm like "No worries, I can get them, I'm strong" and I flex like a weirdo to prove my point. I guess he thinks I'm being funny cuz he laughs and starts walking towards my building. So at this point I'm thinking I'll just let him up, give him the 5 second tour and tell him I have to go to sleep. So we get to my apartment, and I go into my itty bitty kitchen to put fresh water in the vase and when I turn around he's standing in my doorway with his pants unbottoned and his manpiece hanging out!!! I think I just stared at him for like 30 seconds and then he says (and I'm not making this stuff up) "Don't you wanna touch it?" UMMMMM ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I haven't even kissed you yet, of course I don't want to touch it!! EW. So I'm like "Uh no, I really need to go to sleep I have to get up early tomorrow". Unfortunately he's not as dumb as I thought and he calls me out on the fact that the next day is Monday and the markets are closed so I don't have work. Luckily it's fasion week in NYC so I say I'm going to some fashion shows and have to be up and at em at 8 which he buys and thankfully leaves. Sadly at this point I'm no longer in the mood for any kind of male company so I go to bed without meeting up with the boy I actually like. And thus, worst Valentine's Day ever. UGH.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Public Service Announcement
A couple weeks ago I met this guy at the Stumble Inn, which admittedly is not the best place to pick up quality men. But this guy seemed nice, and looked like a bulkier Brian Austin Green (from the old 90210), and said he worked on movie sets so that was enough to secure a first date from me.
So the following Thursday we're supposed to meet up for sushi and I keep trying to get the name of the restaurant out of him so I could look it up on hop stop and figure out how to get there. I realize a few hours before the date that I still don't know where we're going so I call him and he's like "Oh I was just gonna pick you up cuz the place is out by my house in queens". So red flags go up all over for me cuz 1) I have been to queens exactly once and had no desire to go back again. 2) I don't like getting in cars with people I don't know. 3) I don't like people I don't know (aka first dates) knowing where I live. I'd much rather meet at the restaurant in case they end up being a creeper. But a cab to queens is expensive and I decided I'd chance it and take the free ride, however not without a few precautions:
1) I made him pick me up a block away from my house
2) I'm a freak and I left a note next to my computer saying the date, his name, physical description and cell phone number so the cops would have a lead if anything happened to me.
Sooo we decide to do Thai food in Brooklyn instead which in my opinion is a huge step up from sushi in Queens, and the place was kinda cool, and even had the original swing from Mork and Mindy out front. Dinner is good and the date is actually going well until we get into careers and I find out he used to be a NYPD cop before the movie set stuff. I asked him why he decided to quit and he said he didn't quit he got let go from the force for getting in trouble. So naturally I want to know why. He claims that he didn't actually do anything but that his friend got in a bar fight and hit a guy with a bottle and that guy ended up suing my date instead of the guy who hit him. I can't leave well enough alone so I ask him why the guy was suing him instead of his friend. And he tells me that he took the blame for it, and admitted to hitting the guy with a bottle that night. Why would somebody do that you might wonder? I was curious too and continued to press the issue for about 15 minutes until it was clear that there was no good explanation and I could either give him the benefit of the doubt and enjoy the rest of dinner, or go with reason and assume this guy is lying to me. At this point I remember the sticky note next to my computer and am starting to be very glad I left it, but I figure it won't hurt to finish out dinner and get a ride home so I don't have to spend $30 on a cab ride.
The rest of the date is fairly uneventful except for the part where he makes me take a few practice swings with his golf club outside his range rover cuz he's obsessed with golf. One of the classier residents of Brooklyn walked by us and said "yo [insert expletive here] I'll help you take a swing at that ride" clearly assuming I'm about to go all Carrie Underwood on this car. Sweet. But I do make it home in one piece and thankfully did not have to put the sticky note to use for the cops to track me down, but I am nonetheless, glad I left it.
So the following Thursday we're supposed to meet up for sushi and I keep trying to get the name of the restaurant out of him so I could look it up on hop stop and figure out how to get there. I realize a few hours before the date that I still don't know where we're going so I call him and he's like "Oh I was just gonna pick you up cuz the place is out by my house in queens". So red flags go up all over for me cuz 1) I have been to queens exactly once and had no desire to go back again. 2) I don't like getting in cars with people I don't know. 3) I don't like people I don't know (aka first dates) knowing where I live. I'd much rather meet at the restaurant in case they end up being a creeper. But a cab to queens is expensive and I decided I'd chance it and take the free ride, however not without a few precautions:
1) I made him pick me up a block away from my house
2) I'm a freak and I left a note next to my computer saying the date, his name, physical description and cell phone number so the cops would have a lead if anything happened to me.
Sooo we decide to do Thai food in Brooklyn instead which in my opinion is a huge step up from sushi in Queens, and the place was kinda cool, and even had the original swing from Mork and Mindy out front. Dinner is good and the date is actually going well until we get into careers and I find out he used to be a NYPD cop before the movie set stuff. I asked him why he decided to quit and he said he didn't quit he got let go from the force for getting in trouble. So naturally I want to know why. He claims that he didn't actually do anything but that his friend got in a bar fight and hit a guy with a bottle and that guy ended up suing my date instead of the guy who hit him. I can't leave well enough alone so I ask him why the guy was suing him instead of his friend. And he tells me that he took the blame for it, and admitted to hitting the guy with a bottle that night. Why would somebody do that you might wonder? I was curious too and continued to press the issue for about 15 minutes until it was clear that there was no good explanation and I could either give him the benefit of the doubt and enjoy the rest of dinner, or go with reason and assume this guy is lying to me. At this point I remember the sticky note next to my computer and am starting to be very glad I left it, but I figure it won't hurt to finish out dinner and get a ride home so I don't have to spend $30 on a cab ride.
The rest of the date is fairly uneventful except for the part where he makes me take a few practice swings with his golf club outside his range rover cuz he's obsessed with golf. One of the classier residents of Brooklyn walked by us and said "yo [insert expletive here] I'll help you take a swing at that ride" clearly assuming I'm about to go all Carrie Underwood on this car. Sweet. But I do make it home in one piece and thankfully did not have to put the sticky note to use for the cops to track me down, but I am nonetheless, glad I left it.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Chemistry- not just a class in high school
So back in the day when I actually got to leave to go pick up my lunch, I used to go to this little make-your-own salad place next door to my office. I developed way too much of a routine, always going down at the same time each day and ordering the exact same thing, so it wasn't surprising that I started recognizing some of the same customers in there every day. One guy was particularly cute so after about 3 weeks of smiling at each other and saying hi in line every day we finally had an actual conversation and exchanged numbers.
We went out to dinner and things were looking awfully promising, he literally was everything I was looking for on paper: V.P. of an investment bank on wall street, went to Pomona and was an all american in track and field, volunteer fire fighter with FDNY, super cute, didn't drink, loved ice cream, and was so chivalrous and refused to let me pay for anything. But then we ran into 2 major problems- 1) We kissed and had ZERO chemistry. I don't know how it's possible that I have more of a spark with the other random weirdos, who are unemployed an uncute, than this guy, but it was literally like kissing an aggressive cousin. And 2) He thought my roommate was hot (haha, my lovely ex-roomie if you're reading this you know exactly who I'm talking about huh?). So our romantic relationship pretty much ended there but we have continued to hang out for the past year on and off for dinners and movies and stuff. For the most part we've been on pretty good dates (are they still considered dates when you know you're not interested in each other?) but one missed the mark:
He texted one Monday morning asking if I had plans that night, and since I pretty much never have plans and am not disciplined enough to pull the "If you wanna see me you have to ask me 3 days in advance" I told him I was free. He said he had awesome tickets to the Yankee game that night and he was bringing one of his clients and his date as well. So I agreed to go and met him after work to head up to the game. We took the subway up there and seeing as it was August and NYC it was about 95 degrees on the train so I was sweaty and slightly grouchy when we got there but he kept talking about how awesome it was gonna be, and how he didn't know who his client was bringing but he was sure it would be fun cuz he told his client he was bringing "a cool younger girl" (he's in his mide 30s) and his client said he was doing the same.
We made it to our seats, which to his credit were pretty sick, and he greets this nice looking guy who was probably in his early 40s. So I say hi too and am waiting to meet his date who I'm hoping will be nice since I know the guys are gonna have to talk business a little bit, when he steps aside and I see a 7th grader. No joke. The guy brought his 7th grade daughter. And he was a super overprotective dad who kept asking me to take his daughter to the bathroom (can't you go by yourself when you're 13?), and gave me money to go buy her a tshirt and all that stuff. So yeah, I basically got brought along on the "date" to be a babysitter. Luckily she was pretty cool for a 13 year old and I'm not very mature for a 25 year old so we talked about Miley Cyrus and Twilight and got along great, but still...
We went out to dinner and things were looking awfully promising, he literally was everything I was looking for on paper: V.P. of an investment bank on wall street, went to Pomona and was an all american in track and field, volunteer fire fighter with FDNY, super cute, didn't drink, loved ice cream, and was so chivalrous and refused to let me pay for anything. But then we ran into 2 major problems- 1) We kissed and had ZERO chemistry. I don't know how it's possible that I have more of a spark with the other random weirdos, who are unemployed an uncute, than this guy, but it was literally like kissing an aggressive cousin. And 2) He thought my roommate was hot (haha, my lovely ex-roomie if you're reading this you know exactly who I'm talking about huh?). So our romantic relationship pretty much ended there but we have continued to hang out for the past year on and off for dinners and movies and stuff. For the most part we've been on pretty good dates (are they still considered dates when you know you're not interested in each other?) but one missed the mark:
He texted one Monday morning asking if I had plans that night, and since I pretty much never have plans and am not disciplined enough to pull the "If you wanna see me you have to ask me 3 days in advance" I told him I was free. He said he had awesome tickets to the Yankee game that night and he was bringing one of his clients and his date as well. So I agreed to go and met him after work to head up to the game. We took the subway up there and seeing as it was August and NYC it was about 95 degrees on the train so I was sweaty and slightly grouchy when we got there but he kept talking about how awesome it was gonna be, and how he didn't know who his client was bringing but he was sure it would be fun cuz he told his client he was bringing "a cool younger girl" (he's in his mide 30s) and his client said he was doing the same.
We made it to our seats, which to his credit were pretty sick, and he greets this nice looking guy who was probably in his early 40s. So I say hi too and am waiting to meet his date who I'm hoping will be nice since I know the guys are gonna have to talk business a little bit, when he steps aside and I see a 7th grader. No joke. The guy brought his 7th grade daughter. And he was a super overprotective dad who kept asking me to take his daughter to the bathroom (can't you go by yourself when you're 13?), and gave me money to go buy her a tshirt and all that stuff. So yeah, I basically got brought along on the "date" to be a babysitter. Luckily she was pretty cool for a 13 year old and I'm not very mature for a 25 year old so we talked about Miley Cyrus and Twilight and got along great, but still...
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
This is why we don't go to Marquee anymore
Last winter we were getting tired of our normal Saturday night routine and decided we should shake things up and go to Marquee. The night did not go as planned:
First off it was the DEAD of winter and freezing so we were not about to stand in any lines and since none of us are the super aggressive/confident kind who's gonna walk to the front of the line and demand that the doorman let us in, we figured we should go nice and early to avoid being stuck outside. So 4 of my friends agreed to meet there at 10 (which is way early for a Saturday night in New York). My friend and I shared a cab and got down there to find that yay, there's no line! So we pop out of the car, get our IDs out and walk up to the door. The doorman proceeds to laugh at us and tell us it's not open yet. WTF? Major plan backfireage. So now we can either stand outside and wait for Marquee to open, or go next door to a very questionable looking bar/club/lounge thing. It's freezing so we manned up and decided to check out the place next door. I unfortunately can't remember the exact lines used and conversations had over there but we had way too many interactions with people who look like they would fit in a little too well on Jersey Shore. When we got word that Marquee finally opened up one of the guys we were talking to said something along the lines of "I'll walk over there with you guys and you can buy me a drink". Gross. First off he's a guy by himself, so he's clearly trying to use us cuz we're a group of girls and that's the only way he's gonna get in. And second he has the nerve to tell us we can buy HIM a drink??? I don't think so buddy!!
So eventually we make it into Marquee and manage to lose the Jersey guys and are having a pretty fun night when we see a guy who looks pretty cute. He had the whole scruffy, long hair sticking out of a baseball hat, Vermont hockey player look that I liked in college. At least compared to the guys from next door he was a star. Or so I thought... The night continues and my friend has gotten swept away by a bachelor party and at one point is dancing with a guy on a bench and he has her literally off the floor completely picked up. My other friends are hanging out dancing with other people and I end up dancing with the scruffy vermontish guy. After awhile my friends are ready to go but I have the brilliant idea that I should stay by myself with the guy. WORST IDEA EVER.
The night quickly went downhill when I realized that he wasn't from Vermont at all, nor did he play hockey, the scruffy look was more just a product of his lack of showering and hygiene in general. After about 5 minutes of actually talking to him I'm ready to go so I grab my coat and am on my way out when he starts flipping out and making a gigantic scene about someone stealing his wallet. The bouncer says this happens a lot, and that they caught the guy already and everyone's wallets are at the police precinct a few blocks away. Clearly Marquee is a wonderful establishment.
Somehow the guy convinces me to walk with him to the precinct which as it turns out is not "just a few blocks away" but rather a 30 minute walk almost to the other side of Manhattan. I'm in heels and dress and freezing my butt off, and tired, and ready to go home. And the unshowered man is being moody and grumpy and generally not someone I would choose to take a 2am stroll through meatpacking district with. All I want to do is go home and sleep but he promises he'll pay for my cab if I go with him to get the wallet. So we keep walking and eventually make it to the precinct and get his wallet but turns out the guy stole all his cash so now he can't even pay for my cab. At this point I just want to get the heck out of there and my attitude clearly has to be telling this guy I'm not interested in hanging out anymore but when I hail a cab he tries to get in with me!! EW. I tell him I'm going home alone and he starts yelling at me about how he has no place to sleep and how I led him on all night and what is he supposed to do now. I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he just couldn't get a train home but I think there's a slight possibility he was actually homeless, hence the lack of showering, and general lack of manners and chivalry. At any rate, I wasn't gonna stick around to find out so I more or less dove into the cab and told the driver to start going and I'd give him the address in a minute.
Noooot a fun night. No chance I'm going to Marquee anytime in the next 5 years, and if I do, I'm sticking with the clean cut, clearly not homeless types.
First off it was the DEAD of winter and freezing so we were not about to stand in any lines and since none of us are the super aggressive/confident kind who's gonna walk to the front of the line and demand that the doorman let us in, we figured we should go nice and early to avoid being stuck outside. So 4 of my friends agreed to meet there at 10 (which is way early for a Saturday night in New York). My friend and I shared a cab and got down there to find that yay, there's no line! So we pop out of the car, get our IDs out and walk up to the door. The doorman proceeds to laugh at us and tell us it's not open yet. WTF? Major plan backfireage. So now we can either stand outside and wait for Marquee to open, or go next door to a very questionable looking bar/club/lounge thing. It's freezing so we manned up and decided to check out the place next door. I unfortunately can't remember the exact lines used and conversations had over there but we had way too many interactions with people who look like they would fit in a little too well on Jersey Shore. When we got word that Marquee finally opened up one of the guys we were talking to said something along the lines of "I'll walk over there with you guys and you can buy me a drink". Gross. First off he's a guy by himself, so he's clearly trying to use us cuz we're a group of girls and that's the only way he's gonna get in. And second he has the nerve to tell us we can buy HIM a drink??? I don't think so buddy!!
So eventually we make it into Marquee and manage to lose the Jersey guys and are having a pretty fun night when we see a guy who looks pretty cute. He had the whole scruffy, long hair sticking out of a baseball hat, Vermont hockey player look that I liked in college. At least compared to the guys from next door he was a star. Or so I thought... The night continues and my friend has gotten swept away by a bachelor party and at one point is dancing with a guy on a bench and he has her literally off the floor completely picked up. My other friends are hanging out dancing with other people and I end up dancing with the scruffy vermontish guy. After awhile my friends are ready to go but I have the brilliant idea that I should stay by myself with the guy. WORST IDEA EVER.
The night quickly went downhill when I realized that he wasn't from Vermont at all, nor did he play hockey, the scruffy look was more just a product of his lack of showering and hygiene in general. After about 5 minutes of actually talking to him I'm ready to go so I grab my coat and am on my way out when he starts flipping out and making a gigantic scene about someone stealing his wallet. The bouncer says this happens a lot, and that they caught the guy already and everyone's wallets are at the police precinct a few blocks away. Clearly Marquee is a wonderful establishment.
Somehow the guy convinces me to walk with him to the precinct which as it turns out is not "just a few blocks away" but rather a 30 minute walk almost to the other side of Manhattan. I'm in heels and dress and freezing my butt off, and tired, and ready to go home. And the unshowered man is being moody and grumpy and generally not someone I would choose to take a 2am stroll through meatpacking district with. All I want to do is go home and sleep but he promises he'll pay for my cab if I go with him to get the wallet. So we keep walking and eventually make it to the precinct and get his wallet but turns out the guy stole all his cash so now he can't even pay for my cab. At this point I just want to get the heck out of there and my attitude clearly has to be telling this guy I'm not interested in hanging out anymore but when I hail a cab he tries to get in with me!! EW. I tell him I'm going home alone and he starts yelling at me about how he has no place to sleep and how I led him on all night and what is he supposed to do now. I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he just couldn't get a train home but I think there's a slight possibility he was actually homeless, hence the lack of showering, and general lack of manners and chivalry. At any rate, I wasn't gonna stick around to find out so I more or less dove into the cab and told the driver to start going and I'd give him the address in a minute.
Noooot a fun night. No chance I'm going to Marquee anytime in the next 5 years, and if I do, I'm sticking with the clean cut, clearly not homeless types.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Planes, Trains and Automobiles- Part 1 and 2
Part 1- Bus Boy
Nothing super eventful here but this gives a little lead up for part 2. So I started dating a guy in DC in the summer of 07 and on my very first trip down to visit him I ended up sitting next to a really cute guy on the bus. I was pretty head over heels about the DC guy so Bus Boy and I exchanged numbers and kept in touch via text and the occasional drink in NYC but nothing more than that for a year and half. Once DC guy and I broke up I agreed to go out with Bus Boy but told him really bluntly that I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, just wanted to date different people in New York and stay single. He said he was okay with this but he turned out to be kinda girly for a 6'2", 200lbs, ex frat guy, and continued to ask how I felt about him all the time and needed a lot affirmation that I liked him which got sort of annoying. I kept insisting we weren't officially dating but I'm not sure that message got passed along on his end, at least I don't think that's the story he told his friends. We started hanging out more and I met some of his friends and coworkers and got to know one guy fairly well, we're just gonna call him Stan for now.
Part 2- The Good Kind of Accent
I was flying home for Christmas right after DC guy and I had officially broken up and had gotten to the airport waaaaay too early for my flight. This guy came and sat down next to me and we started talking and I immediately liked him cuz he had an adorable Australian accent. I also thought he was pretty cute at the time so we agreed to try to meet up once we were both back in the city after the holidays. So date #1 was pretty good cuz we went to the rooftop of the Gansevoort which is one of my favorite places in the city but I did notice 2 things that were really superficial but worth noting. 1) He was kinda short too, from now on I'm only agreeing to go out with guys who are unquestionably over 5'6". 2) I know this will sound weird, but he had a really really cute profile but was downright strange looking from the front. I don't know how to describe this but it was an interesting phenomenon, and since I'd been sitting next to him the whole time at the airport I'd never really seen the head on view.
Okay, so my shallowness aside...we had a good time on our date, and unlike Bus Boy he was totally chill and not looking for his future wife so I figured I had a good new friend to go out with in the city, and I liked his taste in date spots since he took me to Gansevoort.
The awkwardness arose when parts 1 and 2 collided...
By February I'd been on a few dates with the Aussie, and was quasi dating Bus Boy despite my best efforts to keep it casual, and one Friday I was supposed to meet the Aussie for dinner. So we met at this place called Cafeteria in Union Square but it was super crowded so we were wandering around trying to find a table. Problem number 1, he was short so I had a hard time keeping track of him in the crowd, he also was a speedy little guy so I lost him after approximately 5 seconds at the restaurant. So I'm more or less spinning around in circles when someone grabs my arm and I turn thinking it's the aussie, but no, it's Stan. I'm by myself at this point so he's like "Hey! How've you been I haven't seen you and [Bus Boy's real name] in awhile. When are we all going out again?" Of course at this exact moment the Aussie comes back and is like "Oh man, sorry I lost you! Wanna just go eat at the bar or keep waiting for a table". Now I realize this doesn't sound all that bad but at the time it felt like the most awkward situation ever since I look like a complete sketchball. I don't think Stan realized Bus Boy and I weren't exclusive so I look like I'm being super shady by going out with another guy. And the Aussie had never really asked if I was going out with anybody else I just sort of assumed that since he didn't ask, we were both free to see other people. I think at that point I tried to introduce them to each other both as my "friends" but I'm sure my awkwardness got the better of me and it wasn't a smooth interaction whatsoever.
Needless to say, things didn't really work out with either guy. I think the Aussie stopped calling me after that date, and as for Bus Boy we kept trying to go out but we could never agree to be on the same page relationship/non relationship wise so that eventually ended a few months later.
I thought after that I was done meeting guys on public transportation but as part 3 showed, apparently I wasn't quite finished yet...
Nothing super eventful here but this gives a little lead up for part 2. So I started dating a guy in DC in the summer of 07 and on my very first trip down to visit him I ended up sitting next to a really cute guy on the bus. I was pretty head over heels about the DC guy so Bus Boy and I exchanged numbers and kept in touch via text and the occasional drink in NYC but nothing more than that for a year and half. Once DC guy and I broke up I agreed to go out with Bus Boy but told him really bluntly that I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, just wanted to date different people in New York and stay single. He said he was okay with this but he turned out to be kinda girly for a 6'2", 200lbs, ex frat guy, and continued to ask how I felt about him all the time and needed a lot affirmation that I liked him which got sort of annoying. I kept insisting we weren't officially dating but I'm not sure that message got passed along on his end, at least I don't think that's the story he told his friends. We started hanging out more and I met some of his friends and coworkers and got to know one guy fairly well, we're just gonna call him Stan for now.
Part 2- The Good Kind of Accent
I was flying home for Christmas right after DC guy and I had officially broken up and had gotten to the airport waaaaay too early for my flight. This guy came and sat down next to me and we started talking and I immediately liked him cuz he had an adorable Australian accent. I also thought he was pretty cute at the time so we agreed to try to meet up once we were both back in the city after the holidays. So date #1 was pretty good cuz we went to the rooftop of the Gansevoort which is one of my favorite places in the city but I did notice 2 things that were really superficial but worth noting. 1) He was kinda short too, from now on I'm only agreeing to go out with guys who are unquestionably over 5'6". 2) I know this will sound weird, but he had a really really cute profile but was downright strange looking from the front. I don't know how to describe this but it was an interesting phenomenon, and since I'd been sitting next to him the whole time at the airport I'd never really seen the head on view.
Okay, so my shallowness aside...we had a good time on our date, and unlike Bus Boy he was totally chill and not looking for his future wife so I figured I had a good new friend to go out with in the city, and I liked his taste in date spots since he took me to Gansevoort.
The awkwardness arose when parts 1 and 2 collided...
By February I'd been on a few dates with the Aussie, and was quasi dating Bus Boy despite my best efforts to keep it casual, and one Friday I was supposed to meet the Aussie for dinner. So we met at this place called Cafeteria in Union Square but it was super crowded so we were wandering around trying to find a table. Problem number 1, he was short so I had a hard time keeping track of him in the crowd, he also was a speedy little guy so I lost him after approximately 5 seconds at the restaurant. So I'm more or less spinning around in circles when someone grabs my arm and I turn thinking it's the aussie, but no, it's Stan. I'm by myself at this point so he's like "Hey! How've you been I haven't seen you and [Bus Boy's real name] in awhile. When are we all going out again?" Of course at this exact moment the Aussie comes back and is like "Oh man, sorry I lost you! Wanna just go eat at the bar or keep waiting for a table". Now I realize this doesn't sound all that bad but at the time it felt like the most awkward situation ever since I look like a complete sketchball. I don't think Stan realized Bus Boy and I weren't exclusive so I look like I'm being super shady by going out with another guy. And the Aussie had never really asked if I was going out with anybody else I just sort of assumed that since he didn't ask, we were both free to see other people. I think at that point I tried to introduce them to each other both as my "friends" but I'm sure my awkwardness got the better of me and it wasn't a smooth interaction whatsoever.
Needless to say, things didn't really work out with either guy. I think the Aussie stopped calling me after that date, and as for Bus Boy we kept trying to go out but we could never agree to be on the same page relationship/non relationship wise so that eventually ended a few months later.
I thought after that I was done meeting guys on public transportation but as part 3 showed, apparently I wasn't quite finished yet...
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