Dealbreakers: Guys with fake accents

I should have know this was a poor decision when I agreed to go out with a guy who asked me out via facebook. Granted I'd actually met him about 6 months earlier while I was out on a date with a different guy who happened to be friends with this guy's coworker and we all met up to watch a hockey game. Following me? Anyways...



So we went to a wine bar and had a good date and conversation where I learn that he has lived in Staten Island his whole life, to which I comment, "wow, I can't believe you don't have the stereotypical horrible New York accent?" And he explained his whole theory on accents about how kids pick them up over the summer when they're out with their friends all day, but since he was always gone over the summers (various reasons, unimportant) he never had the chance to pick one up. I complimented him on this and maybe somewhere subconsciously he thought I meant "You should use the most opposite accent of New York possible". Or maybe God just thought it would be funny to push my buttons.

We made it through 2 semi-normal good dates, and I definitely wasn't hooked, but at least liked this guy enough to think we could make it through an entire dinner. WRONG.
Problem 1) We order a pitcher of sangria and he asks the waitress for a shot of tequila on the side "in case we need to add it to the pitcher if it's not strong enough".
Seriously who does that? Even the waitress looked embarrassed for me.
Problem 2) I find out he's 31 and is like a super super super super senior, still trying to finish college, and working at a gym on the side.
Yaaaaay ambition.
Problem 3) Halfway through dinner he randomly starts using a British accent. Granted it's a great British accent but I kept wondering if this was to liven up a story, or make some kind of point, so I basically just stopped listening and waited for him to go back to his normal American voice. But that never happened. He kept up the accent for the next hour and half and didn't act like anything was even remotely strange. Looking back I obviously should have called him out on the instant British transformation but I didn't.

I sort of gave him vague reasons for being busy for a week after that, and then got a voicemail from him asking where I'd been, ALL IN A BRITISH ACCENT! I didn't return his call and vowed I would only talk to him again if he called me as a normal freaking person. Which he did after awhile so we went on a couple more normal dates, and then again, WHAM! British accent time! At this point I didn't even care to know the reason why he launches into alternate persona #2, so I told him I was gonna be really really busy with work and holidays and studying for tests (which maybe someday will be true), for the next four or five months. Not even a solid excuse but it was either that or "I'm moving to London". =)

Ironically a couple weeks later one of my coworkers came across an article called "15 Signs Your Boyfriend is Annoying" and yes ladies, #1- faking an accent. I rest my case. http://www.divinecaroline.com/22070/83198-fifteen-signs-boyfriend-annoying