Don't date the doorman

I am not the kind of girl who can go to a bar and whip out a witty pick up line with some cute guy and start a budding romance based off a couple vodka sprites and a game of beer pong. Instead I have to settle for meeting guys at the gym, or through friends of friends, or one of my personal favorites, public transportation (more on that some other day). But around June I made the mistake of dating my doorman at work.

Let me first say he was cute in that spikey haired, born and raised in Queens kind of way, and always really polite when he called to let me know my lunch delivery was in the lobby. So when he slipped me a note with his phone number on one of my daily lunch pick ups I was actually kind of interested. I agreed to meet him for drinks on a Friday night and after a shockingly successful first date I was thinking this had potential aside from the slightly awkward part about him being my doorman. But I figured as long as we kept things casual, and kept it on the DL at the office what harm could come from this?

Date #2 was pretty decent too, and we amped up the texting after that. Fast forward to the next weekend (so now we've been on 2 dates, made out once, and been talking for approximately 10 days, with nothing more forward than "you look cute today"). I go to Long Island City with my friend from work to shamelessly use our friend for his pool, cuz let's face it, no one wants to be in Manhattan when it's 100 degrees in the city. So Doorman and I are texting a little bit while I'm laying by the pool, and then my friend and I get back on the train to head home. So after this hour long trip in which I have no cell service I get out on the other side and see that I have 6 new text messages. I check the first and see that it's a pic message so I'm just wandering down the New York city sidewalks waiting for it to load when all of a sudden OMG!!! A VERY revealing pair of tighty whities appear on my screen! So naturally I start blushing and try to make sure no one has seen my phone as I go to the next message. MORE TIGHTY WHITIES! Long story short I have 6 pictures all of Doorman in various states of nakedness and seductive faces. Now I'm all for the text flirting, but I am a pretty awkward person in general and getting the pics from my doorman after 10 days was more than I could handle. So obviously the romance between me and Doorman is done, and I can't be the ONLY one at work to be awkward when showing my ID to get in the building so clearly I have to show my girls from work the offending pictures. Everyone is horrified in a "This is hilarious and I kind of love it but wow what a creepo" sort of way, and I feel like my job is done.

Unfortunately I couldn't bring myself to face Doorman again after trying to break things off via text message (the mature route), so now instead of waking up at my normal time and strolling into work around 8:15 I have to get up at 6am in order to shower and get down to work by 7:45 before they change shifts. I have also lost the ability to order from hale and hearty whenever I want it because I now have to participate in the group lunch order so I don't get stuck going down and picking up lunch and having a run in with Mr. Tighty Whities. Worst. So the lesson learned here: Never date your doorman!